Confessions of a Hurting Christian

Samantha Divine
10 min readNov 9, 2020
“! God Bless America !” by permanently scatterbrained is licensed under CC BY 2.0

I struggled to attend Church today. I confess, as a Christian Black Immigrant Woman, it is hard to love White Republican Christians as myself right now. Note, I do not refer to White Republican Christians as Evangelical Christians. I feel doing so deeply undermines our Christian calling to evangelize and ineptly describes their apparent identity. White Republican Christians are people who by their actions primarily identify by their race and politics, not their Christian faith. Evangelical Christians span all races and primarily identify by their desire to obey the Great Commission. Nonetheless, the election results are in and, I’m not surprised that eight out of the 10 members of Churches like mine are counted among the 70 million Americans that voted for President Trump.

Four years ago, I remember congregants clapping at the mention of the election that culminated into Donald J. Trump being America’s 45th President. I remember hearing enthusiastic Amens follow the prayer for the new leadership’s transition. I remember wondering if the applause and Amens were for the departure of Obama, the arrival of Trump, or both. And, I remember the familiar feeling of my racial fears and unnoticed Black immigrant presence drown in the sea of the White Republican celebration surrounding me. Four years later, I feel nothing has changed for these brothers and sisters in Christ and everything has changed for me.

As a Christian who has attended and served in White Republican Churches (WRCs) for many years, I have witnessed the prioritization of traditions over the Commission of Christ long enough to know the decline to come was as inevitable as the news of J.C. Penney’s bankruptcy. From elevating one nation over the Great Commission to displaying Christianity and patriotism at equal and synonymous reverence. Somewhere along the way, it became less about God and the Great Commission and more about the idolization of American rights (the Republican party safeguards), the protest of perceived infringement on earthly privileges, and the fatal fight to preserve an unreflective past and self-righteous principles. In WRCs, to be American is to be Christian and to be Christian is to be American. But it doesn’t stop there, to be a real Christian is to be a red-blooded Republican.

Samantha Divine

Samantha Divine is a writer and war survivor from Liberia, West Africa. Her writing engages readers intellectually and emotionally.